


It's All I Ask

by go_nuclear



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Body horror tw, F/M, but at what cost, kite survives au, scars ment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/go_nuclear/pseuds/go_nuclear
Summary: Through it all, you'd be by Kite's side. It was a promise you'd made, and one you intended to keep. Because as heartbreaking as each moment was, in the end you knew you'd see him again.
Relationships: Kaito | Kite/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	It's All I Ask

**Author's Note:**

> please proceed with caution! this has *major spoilers* for the chimera ant arc of hunter x hunter (up to episode 96)!  
> recommended listening: body terror song by ajj//six (instrumental) by sleeping at last

You’d paced a hole in the floor of the inn, your hands clenched behind your back as you waited for a call from Knov. You’d waited for weeks for any word on Kite, and now that you were so close to seeing him again you didn’t know what you would do. 

* * *

You wanted to kiss him, to have his thin arms wrap around you, the smell of the forest swallowing you whole. You wanted to listen to his voice again, to hold your hand in his as you hunted for another beast. You wanted him to watch you, to protect you, as he always had since you were young, that soft smile of pride on his face as he watched you fight. 

You felt yourself startle as your phone rang on the table, Morel’s name appearing on your phone screen. You scrambled to grab it, shaking hands tapping answer as his gruff voice crackled through the phone. He explained to you that they’d found Kite, but he was far from the man you’d last said goodbye to. 

As the line went dead you felt your whole body begin to quake, tears rolling down your cheeks as you crumpled to the floor. For so many nights you’d stayed up dreaming of Kite, waiting for this very call, but now as you listened to Morel’s words in your head you wished that it was all some kind of twisted nightmare. 

_I don’t think he’s gonna know who you are._

You only cried harder at the thought, imagining what it would be like to look into eyes that no longer knew you. You didn’t know what the Chimera Ants had done to your beloved Kite—in truth you didn’t _want_ to know—but you wished to hell that there was some way you could reverse it. 

Some way you could bring Kite back to you. 

*

The drive to the Hunters Association headquarters was a long and dreary one, framed by a cloudy sky threatening a summer storm. The closer you got to the building the more your stomach began to contort, mind racing through every possible outcome of your impending meeting with Kite. 

The car rolled to a stop, the driver getting out to open your door and walk you to the front steps where Knuckle waited for you, his arms crossed over his chest and a harsh scowl on his face. The look quickly melted when his eyes met yours, replaced with the sympathetic gaze of a man speaking to someone who was in mourning. 

“He’s not dead, is he?” You asked, widening your strides to keep up with Knuckle’s pace. 

He shook his head. “But he’s not.... _him._ ” 

You winced and fell back, weaving your way through endless hallways and down stairs, your stomach dropping with every step. You could see Morel and Knov standing guard by a heavy metal door, obviously awaiting your arrival. They both gave you a tight nod before opening the door, the rattle of chains the first thing that greeted you. 

“Be careful!” Knuckle called as the door slammed shut behind you, the pane of double-sided glass that stretched across the wall leaving you unsettled. 

A gasp left your lips as soon as you looked to Kite. He was dressed only from the waist down, still in the normal black pants and boots you’d grown accustomed to, his abdomen bare and covered in all manner of harsh, jagged scars. They left valleys and canyons in his skin, the haphazard stitching poorly covered by whatever the Hunters had managed to do. 

But it was when you looked into his eyes, his grey eyes which had once looked so kind, you truly realized that he’d become something entirely foreign to you. The scars that pulled at his face didn’t scare you like you knew they should, his seemingly mismatched eyes scanning your body as his lips pulled into a strained grimace. 

“Hello, Kite,” You said softly, biting back tears as you took a half step toward him. 

He growled in response.

“I’ve missed you.” You swallowed hard, watching as he strained against his restraints like a feral animal. “I didn’t think I would get to see you again.”

You stopped a few inches away from him, sitting on your knees with your hands tucked in your lap. He struggled more violently now, the sound of the Nen-protected chains piercing your ears. You wanted so desperately to reach out and touch him, but you knew it could only bring you harm.

“Do you remember me?”

You waited for a response, but none came. Only a blank stare and labored breathing, a feral huff that stabbed into your very soul. You asked him again, much more shakily, searching for something to hold on to.

Nothing.

You kept asking him questions, telling him that you’d still be there for him like you had so many times before, but it did nothing. You tried to reach out and touch him, your hand jerking back when he began to thrash against his chains again.

You gave the glass a pleading look, eyes full of tears, before reaching your hand out to touch Kite. You let your Nen flow through him, blooming within him like a rose, slowly putting him to sleep the longer you let your body calm against him.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” You promised, pressing a kiss into his forehead as your hand fell away.

You walked out of the cell with a haze over your eyes, silent the entire ride back to the inn. Your mind stayed dangerously blank, not daring to the replay the day’s events in a weak attempt to guard your heart.

*

You kept your promise, heartbreaking as it was. Every day you visited him, telling him of the adventures you’d gone on and the love you had for him. And every day you ended by putting him into a blissful sleep, giving him dreams of the life you’d once had together.

As you waited to be let into the cell for another day of work you could hear the voices of children ricocheting down the hall, excitedly talking about visiting someone held within the walls. You strained to hear, leaning forward to catch who exactly they were talking about.

“—I hope Kite’ll be excited to see us, Killua!”

Your stomach flipped. You knew Kite went on expeditions with a few kids who dreamed of being Hunters, but you couldn’t place the voices that approached you. You stayed close to the wall, Kite’s attendant giving you a curt nod as he handed you the keys, the two children behind him gazing up at you with wide eyes and a skeptical gaze.

“Are you here to see Kite too?” The one with green hair asked, an innocent grin on his face.

“Are you?” You retorted, gripping the keys so hard they dug into your palms.

“Mhm! Me and Killua are friends with Kite, and Knuckle told us we could go see him!” The kid smiled, his hazel eyes glittering as he looked at the key in your hand.

The other one—Killua, you guessed—gave the smirk of an older brother with an overzealous younger sibling, his apprehension toward you evident in the way his Nen flickered around him in a way he thought you couldn’t see. You offered him a reassuring gaze, one that told him you weren’t a threat, but you weren’t an idiot either.

“So how do you know Kite?” The other asked, continuing to eye the key.

“I’m his—” You paused. Once upon a time you’d been able to say girlfriend. At the rate you were going it would have been fiancée. But now? Now you didn’t know. “I was close to him.”

“Were you one of his students too?”

“Gon, she’s in her 20s. She wouldn’t be one of his students,” Killua remarked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

You nervously laughed, because it felt like the right thing to do. “I’m taking care of him.”

“Can we see him? Why are they keeping him down here?”

“I-I don’t know. I...” You were scared he was going to hurt them. It was only now that you could talk to him without him lashing out, how would he react to other visitors? “I don’t think you can.”

Gon looked as if he was going to cry. “But Knuckle said...”

“You can watch through that window there,” you said, pointing to the glass, “and if he’s doing better today I can let you in.”

Gon nodded, shuffling to the glass with Killua in tow. You unlocked the door and walked in, meeting Kite’s empty gaze as you did every day, smiling at him like nothing was wrong. You took your seat, wanting so deeply to throw your arms around him and _weep_.

“Gon and...Gon and Killua are here to see you. They’re some of your students, aren’t they?” You swallowed hard and pressed on. “They’re really excited to see you, if you’ll let me let them in.”

Kite stared on, still as a statue. You took it as a good sign, carefully opening the door to keep from startling him. You waved Gon and Killua inside, your heart breaking at the sight of Gon’s glassy eyes.

“I’ll stay out here,” Killua murmured, his eyes staring ahead through the glass, as if he was trying to keep himself from seeing Gon cry.

You nodded and closed the door behind you, watching as Gon approached Kite. He stopped a bit before where you sat, tears dropping onto the padded ground as he met Kite’s gaze.

“Kite, I promise I’m gonna kill every last one of those Chimera Ants that hurt you! They—they can’t get away with this! They’re gonna pay.”

Gon turned back to look at you, his eyes full of tears as Kite shifted behind him. You didn’t know what to say, or if you even _should_ say anything, your own emotions almost becoming too much to bear. You watched Kite with wary eyes, your aura crackling in your palms as worry set in of what he would do.

Gon turned back to Kite, taking a small breath before he spoke. “Me and Killua, we’re gonna save you. Her too,” he pointed to you, “‘cause it seems like she cares a lot about you too. And when you’re back, you can help me find Ging, right? Just like you said?”

Kite stirred, looking up at Gon with eyes full of something you hadn’t yet seen. His arms strained against his chains, his lips parting to speak. “Leave.”

His voice...it was _his_. You began to cry, choking back sobs as you felt his voice filling you with hope. Something of his was still in there, even if it was just a single word. You could hear the man you loved in that command, harsh as it was.

“Kite?” Gon peeped, taking a step toward him.

“Leave.” Kite commanded again, his wrists pulling at the shackles.

“Kite, please,” He begged, reaching out a hand.

“Leave!” Kite roared, tendrils of aura contorting around him as he tried again to pull himself free.

You rushed to his side, hushing him as you held his cheek, apologizing for using your power on him. You could see in your periphery Gon backing away, terrified of what he’d seemingly done.

You kissed Kite’s forehead and gave him one last apology, turning back to Gon. “It’s not your fault, Gon.”

“I-I made him mad, didn’t I?”

You walked toward Gon, wrapping him in a hug you could only describe as motherly. He settled into you, his tears wetting the fabric of your shirt. “He’s never talked before, Gon. You reached him with your promise, and that’s so _good_. I think he wanted to protect you.”

Gon looked up at you, his cheeks ruddy. “He did?”

“Yeah, he did. Maybe you can come back soon, and things will be better. Would you like me to have Knuckle call when that happens?”

Gon nodded against you.

“Okay. Do you want me to walk you and Killua to the car?”

Gon shook his head.

“I’ll see you soon, okay Gon?”

“Okay.”

*

You spent months waiting for Kite. Since Gon’s visit you’d been able to talk to him, although you still weren’t sure if he remembered you. You still put him to sleep at the end of every day, still gave him dreams of you to quell his tortured mind. You told him what Gon had relayed to Knuckle about the Ants, treading lightly to keep from angering him.

You knew you were close, you could feel it. You could tell in your heart that you could reach out and touch that moment when he would know it was you who had been helping him all this time.

You just didn’t know how long it would take.

“Good morning, Kite,” You said as you walked in, taking your seat.

“Morning.”

“Gon told me Morel and Knov took out another squadron last night.”

“They did?”

You nodded. “I found this, too.”

You pulled out a photograph from your pocket, holding it in front of Kite. It was the two of you on a beach, relaxing together after a hunt. One of his students had taken the picture, framing your smiling faces against the pink sunset. In truth you hadn’t found it, it had never left your bedside, but you knew better than to not exercise caution in giving Kite a piece of his past.

“Is that you?” He asked, nodding his head toward the picture.

You softly smiled, nodding yourself. “We took it a few years ago. We were on that beach to find a rare beast so we could track it, and teach your students how to tag animals without getting themselves killed. You told me I was better at it than you, and you looked so happy when I was teaching them, I can never forget it.”

“My dream...” Kite looked at you, “that was my dream.”

You blushed and cringed. “You dreamt of me?”

“Yes. You...them. They’re in my dreams.”

You set the picture on your lap and reached out a hand to rest against Kite’s leg. “Can I?”

“Yes.”

You let it fall against him, a tender look in your eyes. “I’m happy to hear that it worked.”

“You helped me sleep, didn’t you?”

“I did. Did the dreams help you remember?”

“Who I was before...did you love him?”

A lump formed in your throat, one you could barely choke back. “I did.”

“Is that why you’re here?”

“Yes.”

“What about now? Is it different?”

You didn’t hesitate. “No.”

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you, Kite. I always have, and I always will.” You softly exhaled, holding to him tight. “I know it’s been hard for both of us, but we’ve made it this far. I won’t give up on you, and nothing can change that.” 

“I won’t ever leave here. Why do you come back every day? Don’t you get tired?” 

You moved to sit down fully, your legs bent to the side. “Sometimes, but I come because I promised that I’d save you.” 

Kite slowly blinked, his eyes opening to look away from you. “I’m not worth saving.” 

You cupped his face as you did before you said goodbye, but instead of letting your Nen go you held it in, the only thing flowing from you the love you felt for Kite as you leaned in and kissed him, feeling the shock in the way that he hesitated to mirror your movement. His kiss was nothing like it used to be, but who he used to be was gone now. 

And as you pulled away, you knew it would be okay. You knew that you were done mourning the loss of his past self, that the man who looked like he was going to shatter in your touch was the one you hoped you’d spend the rest of your life with. 

Kite looked up at you, melting into the hand still held against his face. It was as if all the fight had left him at once. All that the Chimera Ants had done to him, all they’d tried to make him become, it was gone with a single kiss. It was a moment as beautiful as a fairy tale; the magic of true love’s kiss reuniting lovers marked for death. 

“It’s time,” You said softly, producing a small golden key from beneath your skin. You still weren’t sure how the attendant had used his Nen to embed the key in you without you feeling it, but it filled your heart to know that the Chairman trusted you enough to be able to tell when Kite had come back. 

You slid the key into the lock on the underside of Kite’s shackles, smiling softly as you took his scarred hands in your own. You squeezed them lightly, tears misting in your eyes as you fell against him, hugging him as you’d dreamt of for months. It took him a moment to wrap his arms around you, but when he did you felt the same as you had back then, as if you’d finally come home. 

You broke away to look up at him, smiling as your eyes met. “I’ll have to tell Gon and Killua that you can see them again.” 

“Gon...he came?” 

You nodded. “I told him I’d call when you could visit again. He’ll be so happy to know you’re okay.” 

In the silence that hung you buried your head into Kite’s chest, breathing in the sterile scent that now belonged to him. He’d smell like the forest again, you knew it. Maybe he’d never be a Hunter again, but nevertheless you’d take him on adventures, letting him see the world he’d nearly lost. Your hand would always be in his, you decided, no matter what else life threw your way. You’d made it this far, and there was no turning back. 

“Thank you,” Kite said softly, burying his words into your soft hair. 

“For what?” 

“Saving me.” 


End file.
